Cult Classic #2
Title: No Such Thing
Studio: MGM (Video & DVD)
DVD Release Date: July 9, 2002
Rating: **** 1/2 out of *****
: Sarah Polley, Robert John Burke, Helen Mirren, Julie Christie
Director: Hal Hartley
: R     Run Time: 103 minutes

     This movie has so many facets to it: comedy, drama and ethical situations.  It is taking shot at the media and how sensationalized it can be…

     (All pictures courtesy of MGM)


     The film's star, Sarah Polley ("Go,"The Sweet Hereafter"), plays Beatrice, a young reporter who goes to Iceland to find her boyfriend and missing crew. They were supposed to go checking on a story they heard about a monster living in an unoccupied military base.

     The monster, played by Robert John Burke (“Robocop 3”), plays a great part.  This monster is both scary and comical.  He is an alcoholic who drinks to deal with his manic fits.  His main problem is that he cannot die; he cannot be killed or even kill himself.  He has been around since the beginning of time and continues to be the only one of his kind.

     Beatrice gets in a plane crash on the way to Iceland and is the only survivor.  She goes through a rigorous operation so she can learn to walk again.  Her doctor, played by Julie Christie (“Dr. Zhivago”), helps her through her regimented rehabilitation.  She eventually finds the monster, and he is not what  she expected him to be.

   They make a deal.  Beatrice will take him into the world and help him find the doctor that can “release” the monster from being.  The deal is, though, that he cannot kill anyone.  He has to make a solemn promise to her.  Together, Beatrice and the monster search for a doctor who had worked out a way to kill the monster humanely, before he was taken into military custody.  There is a love/hate relationship between the monster and Beatrice.  He has a very “I don’t care” kind of attitude and swears like a sailor.

    Pictured: Sarah Polley as Beatrice and Rober John Burke as the monster, do a great job as they act out what could be described as something of a live action Beauty and the Beast.

     Helen Mirren (Academy Award winning Actress “The Queen”) plays Beatrice’s boss, who will stop at nothing to get the best story, even if she has to create the     story herself.  She shines in her role (as she always does) creating a media circus around Beatrice and the monster.

    Pictured: The film, while a bit corny and comical is also somewhat deep as the bitter and suicidal monster finds himself falling for the beautiful Beatrice.

     There is some great dialogue in here that can get kind of philosophical.  That is one thing that makes this movie great: the fact that it can be deep and yet so comical.  The true star of this movie is the monster (Burke).  His face is so disfigured that you cannot make out what he really looks like, but his attitude is so raw and real that it steals the show.  See this movie.  It is one of the best I have seen.